Discipleship Week 13: Imitate those who have been tested

Philippians 2:22

“But you know Timothy’s proven worth, how as a son with a father he has served with me in the gospel.”

As we seek to have mature Christian influences in our lives we should seek out people who have been tested. It is easy to be attracted to the charismatic pastor, or to the believer who appears to be on fire for the Lord. We want what they have. And often the fire that we see does come from a deep, genuine faith that is well worth emulating in our own lives.

However the appearance of godliness and a deep passion for God does not always correlate to actual godliness and a strong relationship with the Lord. Sadly, the charisma and passion often does not go beneath the surface. But this is why Paul gives us the example of both Timothy and Epaphroditus as examples for us to imitate. Both men have been tested, and the tests have shown their faith to be substantive, genuine, and lasting. In Timothy’s case he has been tested by time. He has served alongside of Paul for years, in the same way that a son grew up learning his father’s trade. So the Philippians would know, based on his long association with Paul, of his qualification for gospel ministry. In Epaphroditus’ case the test was hardship. Verse 27 tells us that he almost died, and it was seemingly only a sovereign act of God that kept him alive and helped him to recover. But such a hardship reveals Epaphroditus’ true character and faith…he is willing to die for the work of Christ (v.30). His faith is not superficial in any way! Because of the testing of their faith, both Timothy and Epaphroditus stand as examples of faith that is worth imitating.

So when we seek to have mature Christian influences in our lives, people who can be examples for us on how to live the Christian life, we need to seek out people who have been tested, by time, or by hardship, or better yet, by both. Such testing reveals how much substance there is to a person’s faith. It burns away any superficiality, it destroys the masks that people put up to appear spiritual, and it leaves only real, genuine faith (or a lack thereof). It reveals whether a person’s faith is built on a strong foundation or a weak one (Matthew 7:24-27). And such testing produces perseverance in the believer, which leads to spiritual maturity (James 1:2-4). So it is critical that the people we seek to imitate in the Christian life are people who have been tested.

1. Think about Christians you know who have been tested, either by time, by hardship, or both. What do you notice about their faith that is different from someone who has not been tested in these ways? What is attractive about their faith that you want to see in your own life?

2. James 1:2-4 says that the testing of our faith produces perseverance, which leads to spiritual maturity. What are areas of your life where you are lacking in perseverance, and how does the example of other believers who have been tested, either by time or by hardship, or both, challenge you and encourage you to grow in perseverance and in your relationship with God?

Discipleship Week 12: Imitate those who are selfless

Philippians 2:20-21

“For I have no one like him (Timothy), who will be genuinely concerned for your welfare. For they all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.”

As we seek to have mature Christian influences in our lives we should seek people who are selfless, not selfish. That may seem obvious, but in our world, just like in Paul’s, the majority of people “seek their own interests.” Finding selfless people, even amongst Christians, can be difficult. So often those in leadership or in positions of authority (both inside and outside the church) act with self-centered motives. Even good deeds and actions can be done with selfish intentions. An easy example of this is found in politics, where politicians so often vote and push legislation with selfish motives (staying in office), regardless of whether said legislation is good for the people they represent. But self-centered actions can be found in the church as well, when leaders serve with the motivation to get recognized, or when money is allowed to speak louder than spiritual maturity in policy decisions, or when people advocate for decisions based only on their personal preferences and tastes. The list of self-centered motives goes on and on.

This is why the example of Timothy is so refreshing. He is someone who is genuinely concerned for the welfare of the Philippians. The needs of the Philippians come above his own. And this is the kind of person we should allow to influence us, for ultimately this is the kind of person who points us back to Christ. As D.A. Carson notes about Timothy’s selflessness, “this is nothing other than a sign that Timothy follows not only Paul but Jesus. Although Christ enjoyed equality with God, he did not think of such equality as something to be exploited, but adopted the form of a servant. He became a human being, a man, and then obediently went to his odious death on the cross. Those who follow Jesus Christ inevitably learn to cast self-interest and self-comfort and self-focus to one side.” –D.A. Carson, Basics for Believers: An Exposition of Philippians

Have we learned to cast self-interest and self-comfort and self-focus to one side? First, we need to consider where we are on a scale of self-centeredness. Are we self-focused, or others-focused? Most of us are far more self-centered than we care to admit! But then, knowing where we are on that scale, we need to find Christ-centered influences who can help us become more selfless, and follow Christ’s example.

1. What are characteristics of leaders who are more self-focused than others-focused? What has been the result in your life when you have let this kind of person influence you?

2. What are characteristics of Christian leaders who are more others-focused than self-focused? What has been the result in your life when you have let this kind of person influence you?

3. If we are to move on the scale of self-centeredness to looking more to the welfare of others than ourselves, we need to follow the example of Christ and Timothy. What are some practical ways we can follow this example?

Discipleship Week 11: Influenced for Christ

Philippians 3:17

“Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.”

This section in Philippians (2:19-3:21) comes right after Paul’s beautiful and powerful description of the work of Christ on the cross, and his call for us to imitate Christ and his example of self-sacrificial, self-emptying love. We should constantly be seeking to imitate Christ, and the cross should shape our entire lives. But as we seek to imitate Christ, it is always helpful to have other influences in our lives that can show us how to live the Christ-centered lives that we ourselves are seeking to live. Therefore Paul spends some significant time in this section describing the type of mature Christians that we should seek as examples for ourselves.

Bottom line: It is critical that we have mature, Christ-centered influences in our lives. And the reason that this is so critical is that we are influenced by so many things that shape who we are and how we view the world. And if we are not careful, we will be influenced by people and things that do not point us towards Christ-likeness, but that in reality lead us away from Christ. And I can think of at least four ways that we can err when it comes to the influences that we allow in our lives.

1. We allow too many influences in our lives.

How much influence do your friends and family have over you? How much influence do the games you play and media you use have over you? Given the astronomical amount of media consumption by the average college student,[i] I would argue that most of us have altogether way to many things influencing us. And this may seem overly simplified but it needs to be said: if these influences are not Christian influences, they are not going to point you towards Christ. And even if you do have Christian influences in your life that do point you towards Christ, they will be massively overshadowed by the staggering amount of other influences that you have in your life that point you away from Christ.

2. We limit the influences in our lives, but we allow the wrong influences in.

Maybe we can be discerning and realize that there are too many people or things that are influencing us. But it is one step to realize that and another step to limit those influences to people or things that will point you towards Christ. Often we will let family and long time friends influence us, not because we have evaluated the quality of their influence, but simply because there is so much longevity and closeness in those relationships and we equate that closeness with reliability. The question should not be, how close are you to the person you allow to influence you? Rather, the question should be, how close is that person to Christ?  

3. We do not allow ourselves to be influenced at all.

Once we realize that there are a lot of negative influences surrounding us, it can be tempting to go too far in the opposite direction and just shut out everyone and everything, and not allow ourselves to be influenced at all. Often people who have been hurt or abused can easily shut everything out, simply as a form of self-protection. But this creates all kind of problems. It leads to a kind of self-centeredness, where we only allow ourselves to be influenced by our thoughts and our feelings, and not by God. It can also become destructive to friendships and relationships, because when you refuse to allow someone to influence you, there is no way for that relationship to grow. It is a very helpless feeling when you realize that you cannot influence someone that you care about. Those relationships will not last. So we cannot just shut out every influence, because then we would just be left with our (broken, sinful, deceitful) selves.

4. We think we are not influenced by people and things that really do influence us.

“This ____________________ doesn’t impact me.” That is a line that has been used countless times to justify sinful behavior. Fill in the blank. This movie with graphic nudity doesn’t impact me. This pornography doesn’t impact me. This show with constant profanity doesn’t impact me. My messed up family doesn’t impact me. My friends who like to get drunk and party don’t impact me. This may seem like a statement of strong willpower. But it is really just naïve. These people and things DO impact us, and often their influence goes far deeper than we could possibly imagine. Studies have shown for example, that pornography not only impacts us relationally, but actually alters our brain biochemically, hurts us physically, and is linked to a whole host of emotional struggles.[ii] And that should rightly freak us out. So instead of carrying on the game that the influences in our lives don’t really influence us, we need to acknowledge that they do influence us and seek to have more Christ-centered influences in our lives.

So the challenge as we enter this next section of Philippians is to consider what the influences are in our lives, whether or not they point us to Christ, and to seek more Christ-like influences to help us as we grow in our relationship with God.

1. Who has influenced you the most in your life? How has this person influenced you? Has this been positive or negative?

2. We are shaped by any number of influences in our lives: family, friends, teachers…even video games and media influence us. How have these influences shaped you? Have these influences drawn you closer towards Christ or away from Christ?

3. What are the areas where you need to grow in your faith? What kind of Christians should you seek to be around in order to grow in these areas?

4. What are ways you can learn from mature Christian leaders that you cannot learn from other influences?

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[i] Given the tendency of younger generations to multitask their media (i.e. be on their phone, watching tv, and gaming all at the same time), it is now possible to consume more than 24 of media in a single day.

[ii] http://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/9-things-you-should-know-about-pornography-and-the-brain