The best solution for dealing with pain, loss and hardship at Christmas is…Christmas!

One of my favorite Christmas television specials of all time is A Charlie Brown Christmas. Discouraged by all of the commercialism he sees around him at Christmas time (evidenced by the brightly colored aluminum Christmas trees, Snoopy decorating his dog house, and of course…Lucy), Charlie Brown wonders what Christmas is really all about. In response his friend Linus eloquently points him to Luke 2 in the King James Version, and from that passage tells him what Christmas is really all about. And every December as parties get scheduled, lights and decorations are put up, wish lists are made, and shopping needs pile up, it is always good to have Linus’ reminder: We need to focus on Jesus, for he really is the “reason for the season.”

But commercialism is not the only thing that can take our focus off of Jesus during the Christmas season. While Christmas is a time of celebration and joy for many, for many others it is a very difficult time. We see other families coming together and it painfully reminds us of the issues, conflicts, and even dysfunction in our own family. We see people go on Christmas shopping sprees and it reminds us of our own financial struggles that will not simply go away with a little Christmas cheer. For those who are grieving Christmas can be a very difficult time because we are reminded of who we have lost, and the pain that comes with that loss is a little sharper. So while many experience great joy and excitement during Christmas, there are also many that experience significant pain and hardship during this time.

Thankfully the Christmas story is not only a remedy for a bad case of commercialism. In addition to reminding us that Jesus is “the reason for the season,” the Christmas story also gives great comfort and encouragement to all Christians, especially to those who are dealing with pain, loss, and hardship, because through that story we see God’s deep love for us, we see God identifying with us, and we see God’s power and control over all things, including our lives. The best source of comfort and encouragement during our Christmas struggles really is…Christmas.

God’s Love

One of the first verses our kids learned in Awana (and Sunday School and preschool!) is a very powerful truth: “God loved us and sent his Son.” (1 John 4:10). In the previous verse John writes : “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, that we might live through him.” (1 John 4:9). And in a verse that will be familiar to many, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16). The common thread in each of these verses is that God showed his love for us through sending his Son. God not only sent his Son into the world, he sent his Son into the world to die for our sins! God sending his Son into the world was an incredibly lavish, amazingly deep act of love!

So in addition to celebrating the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ at Christmas, we can also celebrate and remember how deeply God loves us. And this is a powerful truth for all of us to reflect on, especially those who are struggling with a bad relationship, identity issues, a lack of self-esteem, or other situations where there is a lack of love from others or from themselves. The love God showed in sending his Son is the same deep, lavish love that God has for us today. God does not change (James 1:17), therefore his love for us does not change. Whatever our circumstances, we can be confident and rest in the fact that our God deeply loves and cares for us.

God’s Identification with Humanity

Not only do we see God’s love for us powerfully displayed at Christmas, we also see a God who is willing to fully identify with humanity. It can be easy to gloss over the reality of Jesus being born in a stable; we like to think of a quaint little manger scene. But Jesus was born in a dirty stable, where animals lived. A nice clean, comforting environment this was not! Thankfully most of us were not born in such circumstances! But Jesus being born into such a hostile environment was the beginning of how Jesus, being fully God, identified with a broken and sinful humanity. In his book, Jesus Driven Ministry, Ajith Fernando notes that being born in a stable was the beginning of a lifetime of many hardships for Jesus. After being born he became a refugee, he then lived in a town that many despised and made fun of, and later he had to take over the family business when his father died, eliminating the chance of a better education.[i] Jesus experienced many of the hardships we experience in this life.

But Fernando also notes that Jesus’ identification with humanity also included experiencing the emotional pain that we all experience at various times in our lives:

“His parents did not understand him when as a boy he spent time in the Jerusalem temple talking to the leaders there (Luke 2:50). His family initially thought he was insane and did not believe in him (Mark 3:21). Though he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, he allowed himself to be so moved by the tears of Lazarus’ sister that he himself wept (John 11:35). His closest friends did not understand the heart of his mission. One of these friends stole from their common purse (John 12:6) and later betrayed him. Another friend vehemently denied knowing him. On the night before his death, shortly after he had demonstrated servanthood by washing the feet of these friends, they argued amongst themselves about who was the greatest (Luke 22:24). Then they forsook him and fled when he was arrested (Matthew 26:56). His opponents constantly accused him falsely, even attributing his acts of kindness to Beelzebul, the prince of demons (Matthew 12:24). Through their false accusations, they finally succeeded in getting him crucified.”[ii]

Jesus, being fully human as well as fully God, experienced the pain and suffering of family issues and conflict, people doubting him, friends misunderstanding him and rejecting him, and opponents viciously attacking him. Isaiah 53:3 prophesied this truth about Jesus as the coming Messiah: “He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief…” Jesus experienced full range of pain and suffering that we experience on a regular basis!  And now that he is seated at the right hand of the throne of God, interceding for us on our behalf (Romans 8:34), we can be confident that Jesus, God the Son, fully understands the struggles that we are going through.  

Beginning with the Incarnation at Christmas, Jesus Christ was and is able to fully identify with our brokenness and our struggles. This should encourage us! Often we are hesitant to share our struggles with others because of the idea that “they haven’t experienced what I’m going through,” or “they just don’t understand.” This may or may not be true. But what is true and vastly far more significant is that God DOES understand what we are going through. He understands our pain and suffering and brokenness because he has experienced it himself! We can always cry out to a God who understands exactly where we are in our pain. And because he understands where we are, how we are struggling, and what we need, HE can mobilize and equip God’s people to love us and care for us in the way that we need, even if they have not experienced the pain that we have. Christmas not only reminds us of God’s love for us, it reminds us of God identifying himself with our brokenness, and how God is able to meet us exactly where we are, and love and care for us in our struggles. Because of his identification with us, God truly is, “The God of all comfort.” (2 Corinthians 1:3).

God’s Power and Control

Finally, the Christmas story gives us comfort and encouragement because it shows God’s power and control over all things, including our lives. The manger scene depicting an innocent, helpless baby born into humble circumstances does help us see Jesus’ identification with us, as discussed above. But we deprive ourselves if we only focus on that aspect of the Christmas story and fail to see the power and control and glory of God on display at the birth of Christ. In the Christmas story we see angels foretelling the birth of John the Baptist and Jesus (Luke 1), angels directing shepherds to leave their flocks to come to the newborn king, and choirs of angels giving glory to God in spectacular fashion (Luke 2). We also see God orchestrating people’s movements, such as the wise men travelling a great distance to see Jesus and then being warned in a dream not to return to Herod (Matthew 2:1-12), and we see God moving in history to accomplish his purposes, such as using a census given by Caesar Augustus to bring Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem (Luke 2:1-5), where it had been prophesied the Messiah would be born (Micah 5:2).

God’s power and control over and through the Christmas story is even evident in the way the Gospels are structured. The beginning of the Gospel of Luke highlights the powerful emperor Caesar seemingly in control of everything at the beginning of Jesus’ life. But at the end of Acts (which Luke also wrote; Luke and Acts are widely considered to be a two volume work) we see another showdown between Jesus and Caesar, this time with Paul in Rome under house arrest, right under Caesar’s nose, “proclaiming the kingdom of God and teaching about the Lord Jesus Christ with all boldness and without hindrance.” (Acts 28:31). These Christ/Caesar showdowns get used as bookends for Luke-Acts, and implicitly but boldly state that even with the birth of the baby Jesus, God’s kingdom is going forward and God’s plan of redemption though Jesus Christ will not be thwarted.[iii] God is in complete control of the entire Christmas story!

And just as God is in complete control of the Christmas story, God is in complete control of our lives. Even during the most difficult and devastating times in our lives, God is in complete control. Romans 8:28 is a powerful and encouraging reminder of this truth: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.” God is in control even our lives seem to be spiraling out of control. God is with us even when we struggle to feel his presence. The circumstances in our lives which are chaotic and stressful to us are not so to God, because he is in complete control of all things. When our circumstances seem bleak and hopeless, God is in control and in him there is ALWAYS hope. We can always have peace in God regardless of what is going on in our lives, because God is in control.

Several years ago our church’s choir and music ensemble performed “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day,” originally a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Longfellow wrote this poem during the American Civil War, not long after his wife had been killed in a tragic accident and his son had been severely wounded in battle. Wrestling with his grief, he heard the bells ring on Christmas morning, 1864, and began to write. In some of the stanzas his grief and frustration are clear:

And in despair I bowed my head:
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

And yet in the midst of that grief Longfellow wrote profound and encouraging words that evidence God’s control:

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor does he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!"[iv]

“God is not dead; nor does he sleep!” God is alive and is at work and is in control of every part of our lives, and because of that, we can have peace this Christmas. Our lives may continue to be filled with pain and hardship, but two things are clear: 1) God is working all things, even our pain and struggles together for good, and 2) we can be at peace even in the midst of the hardship. God is in control.

Conclusion

Many of you may be struggling this Christmas season. It can be a very hard season when struggling with grief, conflict, financial hardship and many other difficult circumstances that we find ourselves in. But the best source of comfort and encouragement during our Christmas struggles really is Christmas! Through Christmas God’s deep love for us is revealed, God’s identification with our struggles and pain is made clear through Jesus’ birth, and God’s power and control over all things, including our lives, is strongly affirmed from every part of the Christmas story. If you are struggling or experiencing pain, loss, or hardship this Christmas, let God’s love for you, understanding of your struggles, and sovereignty over all things minister to your soul. And if you know someone who is struggling this Christmas, share these awesome truths with them so that they too can truly experience Peace on Earth.

Merry Christmas!

 Notes:

---

[i] Ajith Fernando, Jesus Driven Ministry (Wheaton: Crossway Books, 2002), 18. Fernando goes on to point out that this lack of education was seen as a disqualification of Jesus when he began his public ministry (John 7:15). Obviously this was not a problem for God, but it does further illustrate the struggles and frustrations that Jesus shared with humanity.

[ii] Fernando, 18-19.

[iii] Sean McDonough, “Birth of Christ,” from online course: Life of Jesus, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, South Hamilton, MA, 2002.

[iv] Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day,” verses 3&4 in Peace on Earth: A Christmas Musical, by Deborah Craig-Claar & Robert Sterling (Nashville: Word Music, 2007), 103-106. 

Discipleship Week 6: Gospel-Centered Self-Denial

Philippians 1:24-26

“But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.”

In the previous passage Paul rejoices because despite his imprisonment, the gospel message has continued to advance. Here he continues to rejoice in verse 19, in the hope of his deliverance. I would know that for me, if I was in Paul’s situation I would think of my deliverance as being freed from prison. My prayers would most likely be along the lines of “get me out of jail God!” My guess is that many of you would pray the same prayer! But Paul does not see deliverance in those terms. Rather, he sees deliverance in terms of vindication; regardless of what happens to him, life or death, his hope is that Christ will be honored in him. This is an awesome act of selflessness for the glory of Jesus Christ!

This selflessness continues as he asks a hypothetical question of himself: is it better for him to die and go to heaven, or live and continue in ministry? It is hypothetical because he has no power to determine his own fate. He is in prison after all! But his selflessness is seen in that while it would clearly be better for him to die and be in heaven with Christ, he recognizes that it is better for the Philippians for him to live and continue his ministry when he gets out of prison.

So Paul’s desire to live has nothing to do with himself. He has no interest in long life, prosperity, personal success, health, and wealth. His sole concern is that those he has reached with the gospel continue to grow in the gospel! The spiritual health of the Philippians stands at the center of Paul’s self-denial. This is gospel-centered, self-denial.

What does this mean for us? Well, is the salvation of others and the spiritual health of others the basis for your own self-denial? Are you willing to deny yourself for the sake of others around you? There are so many things in our world that are not necessarily bad but that can make us selfish: money, technology, careers, grades…even friendships and family can become more about us than about others. But are we willing to set aside our selfishness and deny ourselves for the sake of those around us being reached with the gospel?

1. In what ways is self-denial easy for you? In what ways is it difficult?

2. There are an almost endless number of ways that we can participate in furthering the gospel, both here at home and around the world. In what ways are you prepared to deny yourself to participate in this mission to advance the gospel? If God called you to surrender long term career goals, financial stability, and more to participate in spreading the gospel, would you do it? If not, why not?

3. What are some ways that you are selfish instead of selfless? What would your life look like if you emulated Paul’s selflessness in those areas where you are currently selfish?

Discipleship Week 5: Gospel-Centered Goals and Aspirations

Philippians 1:12-18a

“I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.” (1:12-14)

Paul writes to the Philippians from prison in Rome, and he is in prison because he had gone to Jerusalem where he was not popular, got arrested, and ultimately appealed to Caesar (Acts 21-26). It would appear that his actions led some Christians to question him and whether getting arrested and appealing to Caesar was the best thing for the advance of the gospel. But Paul is clear that his imprisonment is furthering the gospel. The guards watching him have heard the gospel, news of the gospel has spread throughout the entire imperial guard (thousands of men), and because of Paul’s imprisonment others are preaching the gospel more boldly. Even those with mixed motives are preaching the gospel (i.e. “Look at me. I’m not like Paul who got himself arrested. What a waste! I’m still out here so I can preach the gospel.).

What is fascinating about Paul here are his goals and aspirations… His primary goal is not to get out of prison, nor to have everyone like him, or even to try and justify himself and his actions in appealing to Caesar. His primary goal is to see the gospel advanced. Because of this he rejoices in the various ways the gospel is being preached. Therefore the advance of the gospel must be at the center of our goals, aspirations, and dreams as well. D.A. Carson puts it this way:

“What are your aspirations? To make money? To get married? To travel? To see your grandchildren grow up? To find a new job? To retire early? None of these is inadmissible; none is to be despised. The question is whether these aspirations become so devouring that the Christian’s central aspiration is squeezed to the periphery or choked out of existence entirely.” –D.A. Carson, Basics for Believers: An Exposition of Philippians

There are so many good and worthy things that we can aspire to in our lives. But we cannot aspire to those things at the cost of the advance of the gospel. So we may need to rearrange some aspirations so that the advance of the gospel is at the center. And we may need to sacrifice and give up other aspirations so that the advance of the gospel can be at the center. So what are you willing to sacrifice so that the gospel can advance, both where you live and to the ends of the earth?

1. What are your goals, aspirations, and dreams for your life? Finish this sentence: “In twenty years, I want to _____________________________.”

2. Do these goals, aspirations, and dreams have anything to do with the advance of the gospel? If not, why not?

3. Of these goals and aspirations, which ones need to be rearranged so that the advance of the gospel is central? Which ones need to be sacrificed?

4. What are you willing to sacrifice for the advance of the gospel? And how can you participate in the advance of the gospel?

Discipleship Week 4: A Gospel-Centered Prayer Life

Philippians 1:9-11

“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”

Often our prayer life focuses around the circumstances of our lives: Health concerns, financial worries, relationship struggles, and more. And the bible tells us to pray for these things and ask for what we need (Matthew 7:7-11). We can and should pray for these things! But if these circumstances are at the center of our prayer life, than our prayer life will inevitably become self-centered, simply a checklist of personal needs that we go through and not much else.

But Paul’s prayer for the Philippians is explicitly gospel-centered, and the priorities of the gospel are clear in his prayer: 1) For their love to abound (both for God and for each other…you can’t have love for one without love for the other!), with 2) knowledge and discernment (love is not a fluffy, sentimental thing; to love God and others we have to truly know God and others, and have that love encompass our entire being), so that 3) they continue grow in spiritual maturity and towards perfection, for the glory of God (the gospel should constantly be transforming us, and we should never be satisfied with a spiritual plateau or spiritual mediocrity in our lives).

So our goal should be to have a gospel centered prayer life, and pray these gospel priorities for ourselves and for each other: 1) Grow in love for God and for each other, 2) have that love encompass our entire being (heart, soul, mind, strength), and 3) allow the gospel to continually transform us and not to settle for spiritual mediocrity.

1. How do you pray? Are your prayers more self-centered or more gospel-centered? How can your prayer life become more gospel-centered?

2. What are some practical ways you can grow in love, either for God, for others, or both?

3. What are some ways that your love is inconsistent (i.e. you say you love God but have hatred towards someone, you say you love God but show no obedience to his commands, etc…)? How does this inconsistency impact you sharing your faith with others?

4. What are ways you are on a spiritual plateau and not allowing the gospel to transform you?

Discipleship Week 3: Gospel-Centered Fellowship

Philippians 1:3-8

“I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (1:3-6)

Paul is thankful for the Philippians Christians, particularly for 1) their partnership in the gospel and 2) God’s continuing work in their lives. The word for partnership is the same word that is used to describe fellowship throughout the bible (koinoneia)…indicating that fellowship goes far deeper than the coffee hour at church on Sundays, or believers getting together to eat food, although that is certainly part of biblical fellowship! Christian fellowship is a far greater investment than most of us think about! Therefore, true fellowship between Christians must at its core be centered around a deep self-sacrificial commitment to the gospel and partnership in the gospel. And true fellowship between Christians must show a deep interest in each others’ spiritual health and continued spiritual growth.

1. When you are with other Christians, what do you focus on? What do you talk about? What are ways you can have a deeper level of fellowship with your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ?

2. What are reasons that you shy away from a deeper fellowship with other believers?

3. D.A. Carson offers several practical ways we can have our fellowship be centered around the gospel, the good news that in Jesus Christ God has reconciled us to himself… “This means that in our conversations we ought regularly to be sharing in the gospel; that is, delighting in God, sharing with each other what we have been learning from his Word, joining in prayer for the advance of the gospel (not least in the lives of those to whom we have been bearing witness), encouraging one another in obedience and maturing discipleship, bearing one another’s burdens, and growing in self-sacrificial love for one another for Christ’s sake.” –D.A. Carson, Basics for Believers: An Exposition of Philippians

Which of these areas is already a part of your fellowship with other believers? Which areas do you need to grow in? How do your relationships with believers need to change so that these things are at the center of your relationships?

Discipleship Week 2: Put the Gospel First

Philippians 1:1-26

“I would like to buy about three dollars worth of gospel, please. Not too much— just enough to make me happy, but not so much that I get addicted. I don’t want so much gospel that I learn to really hate covetousness and lust. I certainly don’t want so much that I start to love my enemies, cherish self- denial, and contemplate missionary service in some alien culture. I want ecstasy, not repentance; I want transcendence, not transformation. I would like to be cherished by some nice, forgiving, broad- minded people, but I myself don’t want to love those from different races— especially if they smell. I would like enough gospel to make my family secure and my children well behaved, but not so much that I find my ambitions redirected or my giving too greatly enlarged. I would like about three dollars worth of gospel, please.” –D.A. Carson, Basics for Believers: An Exposition of Philippians

Paul references the gospel throughout this first section of his letter to the Philippians. It is clear that the gospel, the work of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins in our place in order to reconcile us to God, must be at the center of our lives. The gospel should radically transform us and shape every part of our being. But so often, as D.A. Carson notes above, we don’t want a gospel that radically transforms and messes up our lives, but want a watered down, domesticated version of the gospel that looks nice and feels nice, but that brings very little change in our lives. So the challenge in this first part of this book is to put the gospel first in our lives.

1. Why do so many Christians want a domesticated gospel?

2. How does our culture encourage us to have a domesticated gospel?

3. In what ways do you want to have only “three dollars worth of gospel?”

4. If the gospel was truly first in your life, how would your life look different from how it is right now? What needs to change so that the gospel truly is first in your life?

Discipleship Week 1: Living for the Glory of God

Philippians 4:20

“To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.”

It is critical that we begin this study of Philippians by studying God’s glory, because it should be our top priority in life. The Westminster Shorter Catechism begins with this simple question: “What is the chief end of man?” And the answer: “To glorify God and enjoy him forever.” Our main purpose in life is to glorify God. Therefore everything that we think, say, and do should be for God’s glory. In Isaiah 26:8 the prophet cries out to God: “Your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.”

God’s glory should be at the center of this book on living the Christian life because if it is not, then when we do live out the challenges and teachings of this book, then we give glory to ourselves and not to God. When these teachings are seen as a goal themselves, and not a means to a goal, namely, to glorify God, then this book becomes a checklist of spiritual accomplishments to feel good about and not a way to lovingly pour ourselves out to God. Living for God’s glory is the difference between this book radically transforming our lives for God and having this book become a burdensome spiritual chore list.

1. What are ways that you are living for God’s glory? And what are ways that you are viewing the Christian life more like a checklist? What difference do you notice when you are living for God than when you are living for yourself and the checklist?

2. How can good things, like ministry, service, bible study, worship, and more become bad things?

3. What are areas of your life where you have said, “No way God! Absolutely not!” Missions? Sexual purity? Time? Hobbies? Future? Career? Control? If you life was more oriented around God’s glory, how would your view of these things you have said no to God about change?

4. What is keeping you from living completely for God’s glory? And what do you need to do about that this year?