Discipleship Week 20: Don't give up, be known for gentleness

Philippians 4:5

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”

As we consider Paul’s exhortations for how to persevere in the Christian life and not give up, this verse is tricky. One, it is difficult to see what gentleness has to do with perseverance. And two, it is hard to tell what is meant by this word translated in the NIV as gentleness. Some translations use forbearance, others use reasonableness, and on and on. So what does gentleness mean, and what does it have to do with persevering in the Christian faith?

What is meant here in this verse is intentional, self-effacing kindness. This word is used (among others) in James 3:17 to describe the kind of wisdom that comes from God, which is directly contrasted with earthly wisdom of this world that is rooted in bitter rivalry and selfish ambition. So the kind of gentleness that is in mind here is a selfless, others-focused kindness or service. It is not self-centered in any way. Rather, it follows the selfless, self-giving example of Christ laid out earlier in 2:5-8. So Paul is exhorting the Philippians to be selfless, to be known for not drawing attention to yourself. Be known for not being known.

Why is this importance for perseverance in the Christian life? Well if the focus is on ourselves, it is not on God, and it is not on the work of Christ that has saved us and brought us into relationship with God. It is very difficult to stay strong in the Christian life when our decisions, our actions, and yes, even our good works are focused inwards and away from God. And it is very difficult to proclaim the gospel and Christ’s sacrificial work on our behalf when the attention is on ourselves. We can’t point people to God when we are pointing at ourselves!

This focus on the self is a major problem in our churches today. How often do we help people out of purely selfless motives? Very rarely. We help someone because it helps us as well. We help because it makes us feel good. We help someone because of what they have promised to do for us in return. We help someone while keeping a mental note of the action so we can use it to get a favor done for us in the future. We help because it helps us. It is even easy to appeal to this selfishness when trying to get others to join you in an act of service... “If you come to the church work day this weekend I’ll take you out for dinner afterwards.” And the sin of self is an easy trap for pastors, who can easily be motivated more by praise instead of being motivated by faithfulness to the one who deserves all of the praise.

Part of this self-centered service is driven by our culture, which tells us more often than not that the ends justify the means. In other words, if good is the final result, it doesn’t matter what you have to do to get there. But the Scriptures repeatedly tell us that the ends don’t justify the means, and that God is just as concerned if not more concerned with how we do something as opposed to the result of what we do. The how matters. The heart matters. And we should be motivated to cultivate this selfless heart in ourselves, because this verse succinctly reminds us: The Lord is near. Whether this means his return is near or he is near to us in the presence of the Holy Spirit, we should be motivated by his presence to become like him, to serve him, and to repent of our self-centeredness.

How do we persevere in the Christian life? By not being known. We persevere by following the self-giving, self-sacrificial example of our Lord Jesus Christ, by having the same heart. So when people look at us and look at our service, they shouldn’t actually see us, they should see Christ. This is described so beautifully in the well known hymn:

May his beauty rest upon me

As I seek the lost to win,

And may they forget the channel,

Seeing only him.

-Kate Barclay Wilkinson,

May the Mind of Christ, My Savior

What are you known for? Selfishness or selfless kindness? When people look at the work and service that you do, do they see you and your accomplishments? Or do they see Christ? What needs to change in your life so that when others look at you they see Christ? Don’t give up, but be known for gentleness, for self-effacing kindness.